HOMILY: MODELING YOUR FAMILY AFTER THE HOLY FAMILY

Merry Christmas! And Happy Feast of the Holy Family. Some years ago I heard a talk by a very holy priest entitled, “Modeling your family after the Holy Family.” So I recommend this as our goal today.

But before I get into all the holiness and virtue associated with the Holy Family, let’s address the fact that some of us perhaps, when considering the concept of modeling our family to that of the Holy Family, are tempted to say, “Oh, we couldn’t do that. We can’t live to that high a standard. I can’t relate to them.” So if by chance there are any people in here who find relating to the Holy Family difficult…

…, let’s examine the lives of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Earlier in the gospel we read of Mary, a young lady betrothed to Joseph receiving a message from the angel Gabriel. Imagine yourself, in a dream receiving the message from the angel that you’re about to be pregnant with a baby…and your pregnancy is not going to be by your husband but by the Holy Spirit. Then you have this conversation with your husband. Keep in mind that it’s before your “wedding night” and you break this news to him that you’re now expecting a baby. That doesn’t happen these days, does it?

Consider the risk in Mary giving her fiat, her “Yes” to the Lord. She might have been a single mother or worse yet, stoned to death if her pregnancy was not properly understood by her intended husband.

But she’s a fine young lady, a teenage girl, really. And she’d been raised in a loving home where she learned the faith pretty well. And we know this because before she tells the news of her pregnancy to her husband, Mary’s response to the whole scenario was beautiful. In fact it was one of the most lovely of prayers we’ve received, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked with favor on his lowly servant…”[i] And this is partially how we know that Mary was well-catechized for her Magnificat is reminiscent of Hannah’s canticle after the birth of Samuel.[ii]

Mary gives the ascent of faith and devotion to the Lord, no matter the circumstances. How many families have had to rally around someone who’s facing difficulties? Lots. Here’s what we can learn. Mary trusted the Lord her whole life. How many of you trust in the Lord, give me an AMEN… Remember too that she has nothing to be or feel guilty about.

There was a second part to this equation however and his name was Joseph.

Again, before their “wedding night” Joseph learns that Mary was pregnant. Note how he was planning to divorce her but he was not going to make a scandal of the situation but being a merciful and just man, he would do it quietly. Justice and mercy require much discernment and for Joseph, being merciful and just was not enough. He could learn, and be, more.

So the angel came to him and said, “Joseph, son of David, have no fear about taking Mary as your wife. It is by the Holy Spirit that she has conceived this child. She is to have a son and you are to name him Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.”

Think about this one on first blush…you’re Joseph for a moment. And you get this message from the angel…and if that was me I’d be thinking, “Wait, now who did what to her?” Thanks be to God the angel’s message from God was absolutely convincing and Joseph took Mary into his home and remained chaste.

Any sales professionals out there? Would you like to have the sales skills of that angel? I’d suggest you talk to that angel, asking him to intercede to God for your intentions as a sales person. That’s your patron saint right there.

What also happens during this time period? Without any mention of the worry of Mary’s “curious” pregnancy, she sets off to the nearby hill country to help her older cousin Elizabeth. How many of you mothers, during pregnancy, had difficult decisions to make regarding other family members in need?

Months later, Joseph and Mary (at approximately 9 months pregnant) are traveling to Bethlehem to participate in the census ordered by Caesar Augustus. While there, they could not find a place to stay when Mary went into labor to have the baby. I don’t know about you but I know some families where the when, where and how the baby was to be born was a little touch and go.

As we know, sometime after the birth of Jesus, the Magi came for a visit with gifts of…gold…frankincense…and Myrrh.

After that remember how Herod, in his evil, selfish jealous rage ordered the slaughter of all the baby boys two years and younger and Joseph, paying attention to the message in a dream, to take his family to Egypt. Imagine for a moment the turmoil that caused…

They had just received these expensive gifts, and now they need to hastily leave their home, take only what they needed, secretly and swiftly, because…think about Joseph for a moment, the life of your foster son is in danger.

The Holy family faced many hardships…not unlike what many of you have to face. Jesus humbling himself to share in our humanity and for the forgiveness of our sins, gives us the opportunity to try to relate to their lives. And to be a real example, real human beings who all dealt with temptations just like we do.

So what does this all mean for us? Let’s look at the readings from Sirach[iii] and St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians[iv] .

Wives, you must be submissive to your husbands. Get it, got it. Good. Now you, us, husbands, love your wives. St. Paul doesn’t stop there. To the Ephesians, he says, be submissive to one-another out of reverence to Christ[v]. If I am the head of my household, it’s only with my wife’s permission. It can be no other way.

Those of you who have answered the call to a vocation of service in Holy Matrimony, whether you’ve “tied the knot or not”, should learn to submit yourself to your spouse or your intended. Consider your intention, or your present marriage as sacramental preparation or development.

Understand that to live a life of holiness in your marriage it is to be a ministry. And who remembers who the minister was at your wedding?

I ask that question often when delivering talks at conferences or seminars. One person answered saying, “Oh, the minister at our wedding was Monsignor so and so.”

To which I said, “Oh Monsignor so & so is practically a saint, isn’t he?

And the person said, “yes he is!”

You’re saying the good Monsignor attended your wedding?

Yes he did.

And so the good Monsignor was the official Church witness at your wedding?

Yes he was!

That’s great! But what I asked you was, “Who was the minister at your wedding?

…And all I got at this point was a weird look… To which I had the opportunity to teach…”The minister at the wedding was actually couple, the man and the wife. It’s the couple themselves who are the ministers of the wedding… because if the couple fail to administer the wedding vows to each other…there is no marriage…no wedding.”

In the ministry of the husband and the wife totally giving of themselves, submitting to each other for each other’s greater good, and God’s glory, spawns a culture of life and respect for the lives of all family members, immediate and extended family…. For the family is called, by the fathers of the Second Vatican Council, The Domestic Church.

Respect life, through the lens of the family, the Domestic Church is a comprehensive and lifelong study and practice for those of us involved in the examination and formation of our consciences.

• It’s the protection of our fertility.

• The protection of life in the womb.

• The care for the orphaned and otherwise disenfranchised.

• The care to minister to those who live one of the whole host of deviant lifestyles.

• The love, respect and comfort for those suffering from illnesses and those living their last days…may they please be able to have peace and joy…and in their infirm, minister to others.

• It’s the defense of marriage. And if we fail to defend marriage, the domestic church, there’s no way that we can properly respect life. All priorities go out of whack.

When you separate love from life in a marriage, you end up with the culture of death. The flip side however; when there is total life-giving love in the home, a culture of life can flourish.

And our reading from Sirach is a “how to” seminar on implementing the fourth commandment, Honor your Father and Mother.

A father is to be honored by his children. You might think that’s easy for me to say and “Lord it over my children.” Properly understood, a father should be humbled by this. For it’s not so much for me that my children must honor me, it’s for the formation of their consciences and the salvation of their souls. I must do the same whenever I can. I must honor my father physically and honor my mother’s memory. For a father to be a good father, he must:

• Be honorable.

• Be one who submits to his wife as the chief servant of the home. A servant-leader of the home.

• Confirm the authority the mother has over the home.

• Honor his own parents (and in-laws!)

• Be an example for his sons (for how they should act as grown men)

• Be a respectful example for his daughters (so they know how to expect to be treated by a real man.)

• And finally the timely reminder from Colossians, “Fathers, do not provoke your children so they may not become discouraged.”

What that part really means, is that which my children remind me from time to time which is, “You’d better be nice to us, Dad, we get to pick your nursing home.”

Peace,

Deacon Tom Gotschall, The Deacon Dad at:

https://tomgotschall.wordpress.com/

http://doctorsofthechurch.wordpress.com/

Deacon Tom Gotschall on YouTube.

[i] Luke 1: 46-55

[ii] 1 Samuel 2: 1-10

[iii] Sirach 3: 2-6, 12-14

[iv] Colossians 3: 12-21

[v] Ephesians 5: 21